A Christmas Message from HFVIN Family violence increases in New Zeandver You might love them but you don't like how There are many reasons why someone being Christmas and holiday times. Behind any of the they act and that they are hurting others. abuse is a person choosing to behave that way. Maybe it's subtle or it could be more obvious, abuser leave or not return to them. and keep them accountable. abused may find it hard to stand up to their Encourage them to phone the Family Violence Information Line on 0800 456 450 or to look e threats and physical harm. Perhaps it's the Try to understand those reasons and don't This is a whole community issue and family like violence is everyone's concern and ending way everyone's responsibility. But you might think what difference can I really make? While much family violence is hidden, often close friends or wider family have a gut teeling d that something is wrong or even know about it. The abuse is usually part of a pattern of the family services directory for contacts for local services or courses such as anger management programmes Look after yourself. Remember that you are not responsible for changing someone. Do what you can to help but it is way they talk down to their partner, humiliate judge the victim. them in front of others, or stop them coming to family events. The abuse could even be hidden behind a façade of happy faces, but you suspect something's not right you are c Check in if you are concerned about someone. If someone hints at or says that they are being t facadeppyfaces but you oed ste o then abused, listen to them. No one deserves it and abusive behaviour is not ok deciding to change, we can all play a role in Encourage them to seek support to encouraging them to take the steps to do so. f yourself first and keep yourself safe. change. People who are being abusive may want to change but not know how to. Specialist support is available (and usually necessary) to The Family Violence Information Line 0800 456 450 is open every day of the year from 9am to 11pm. and control and rarely a one-off incident Heres some ways to help even if that's all anyone on the outside actually sees. And there are practical steps you can take Don't victim-blame or excuse the If you think someone is in danger call Police on 111 abuse. abusive and to learn What if someone you care about is the abusing their partner or family? The extra worries that can come with holiday healthy and non-vioent behaviour. People time may contribute to violence but there's stil around them who they love, trust and respect For more information visit can also help support their behaviour change www.areyouok.org.nz