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    January 17, 2020
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MAKING THE CHANGE So often when we talk about family violence, we assume that the only way for a victim to be safe is for them to leave. A better way for families to be safe, is for the violence to stop. Change is possible for people living in a cycle of family violence, but it takes time, determination, courage and support. Do you know someone who needs help to make the change or do you need help to make the change? For many people the most difficult part of change is accepting the need to change - you can help by never accepting or condoning abusive behaviour whether it is physical or emotional in others or in yourself. You can challenge violence by saying t's not ok, and by not accepting or using excuses such as stress, or it was the drink for episodes of abusive behaviour. Most people want to have happy and loving relationships with their partner and chidren based on respect and trust rather than fear and violence. Stopping violence courses offer the tools to help people using violence to stop this behaviour. The process of change and healing for people can be a slow one, and there is lots you can do to help along the way. Support and encourage your friend or yourself to keep going. Celebrate success, however small it may seem. Challenge your behaviours or their behaviour, not the person. Use phrases and think that action was not OK and i can do better Rather than Tm a bad person or they are a bad person'. Offer them or have a safe place to vert. Change can be slow and sometimes frustrating. You could offer them a calm space and a listening ear or talk yourself with a supportive friend- be mindful not to encourage abusive attitudes n this space. Recognise that victims need healing too. k may take a while for an abusers partner and children to fully trust that a person's behaviour has changed. Encourage them that this is ok. Some relationships may never fully heal, and thet can be hard to accept, but it is ok to be proud of the violence free life you have created, and this wil lead to happier, healthier relationships in the future. Everyone gains by healing. IT IS TO ASK OK FOR HELP |0800 456 450 Iwww.areyouok.org.nz Hauraki Family Violence Intervention Network (HFVIN) is a collective of around 100 individuals representing over 60 organisations from across the Thames-Coromandel and Hauraki Regions. We believe in supporting positive connections between people and strengthening healthy relationships and families. We do this by sharing key messages, holding conversations, sharing resources and by providing training. VIOLENCE FREE MAKING THE CHANGE So often when we talk about family violence, we assume that the only way for a victim to be safe is for them to leave. A better way for families to be safe, is for the violence to stop. Change is possible for people living in a cycle of family violence, but it takes time, determination, courage and support. Do you know someone who needs help to make the change or do you need help to make the change? For many people the most difficult part of change is accepting the need to change - you can help by never accepting or condoning abusive behaviour whether it is physical or emotional in others or in yourself. You can challenge violence by saying t's not ok, and by not accepting or using excuses such as stress, or it was the drink for episodes of abusive behaviour. Most people want to have happy and loving relationships with their partner and chidren based on respect and trust rather than fear and violence. Stopping violence courses offer the tools to help people using violence to stop this behaviour. The process of change and healing for people can be a slow one, and there is lots you can do to help along the way. Support and encourage your friend or yourself to keep going. Celebrate success, however small it may seem. Challenge your behaviours or their behaviour, not the person. Use phrases and think that action was not OK and i can do better Rather than Tm a bad person or they are a bad person'. Offer them or have a safe place to vert. Change can be slow and sometimes frustrating. You could offer them a calm space and a listening ear or talk yourself with a supportive friend- be mindful not to encourage abusive attitudes n this space. Recognise that victims need healing too. k may take a while for an abusers partner and children to fully trust that a person's behaviour has changed. Encourage them that this is ok. Some relationships may never fully heal, and thet can be hard to accept, but it is ok to be proud of the violence free life you have created, and this wil lead to happier, healthier relationships in the future. Everyone gains by healing. IT IS TO ASK OK FOR HELP |0800 456 450 Iwww.areyouok.org.nz Hauraki Family Violence Intervention Network (HFVIN) is a collective of around 100 individuals representing over 60 organisations from across the Thames-Coromandel and Hauraki Regions. We believe in supporting positive connections between people and strengthening healthy relationships and families. We do this by sharing key messages, holding conversations, sharing resources and by providing training. VIOLENCE FREE