A CHRISTMAS MESSAGE FROM HFVIN 2020 has been a challenging year for many of us, and while most of us are looking forward to the fun of the festive season, it's important to look out for people who may be struggling. Specialist support is available (and usually necessary) to help people stop being abusive and to leam healthy and non-violent behaviour. People around them who they love, trust and respect can also help support their behaviour change and keep them accountable. we can all play a role in encouraging them to take the steps to do so. Find out about family violence and intimate partner abuse so that you can recognise and name the abusive Family violence increases in New Zealand over Christmas and holiday times. Behind any of the abuse is a person choosing to behave that way. While much family violence is hidden, often close friends or wider family have a gut feeling that something is wrong or even know about it. The abuse is usually part of a pattern of power and control and rarely a one-off incident even if that's all anyone on the outside actually sees. behaviour. Learn about the Danger Signs of abuse that can lead to serious harm or even death. Encourage them to phone the Family Violence Information Line on 0800 456 450 or to look up the family services directory for contacts for local services or courses such as anger management programmes. Don't victim-blame or excuse the abuse. The extra worres that can come with holiday time may contribute to violence but there's still no excuse for abuse. Look after yourself. There are many reasons why someone being abused may find it hard to stand up to their abuser, leave or not return to them. Remember that you are not responsible for changing someone. Do what you can to help but take care of yourself first and keep yourself safe. What if someone you care about is the one abusing their partner or family? The Family Violence Information Line 0800 456 450 is open every day of the year from 9am to 11pm. You might love them but you don't like how they act and that they are hurting others. Maybe it's subtle or it could be more obvious, like threats and physical ham. Perhaps it's the way they talk down to their partner, humiliate them in front of others, or Try to understand those reasons and don't judge the victim. If you think someone is in danger call Police on 111. Check in if you are concerned about someone. If someone hints at or says that they are being abused, listen to them. No one deserves it. For more information visit www.areyouok.org.nz stop them coming to family events. The abuse could even be hidden behind a façade of happy faces, but you suspect something's not right. While a person being abusive is responsible for deciding to change, Encourage them to seek support to change. IT IS FAMILY TO ASK VIOLENCE OK FOR HELP People who are being abusive may want to change but not know how to. IT'S NOT OK VIOLENCE FRE Help your family be safer these holidays Discuss ways to make family visits, travelling or parties safer. Make a plan to check-in with anyone you're concemed about. Name abusive behaviour that you don't like. Don't let booze or drugs be an excuse. Keep an eye on children and what's going on around them. Support someone to get space or time-out. Take care of yourself. FAMILY VIOLENCE areyouok.org.nz 0800 456 450 IT'S NOT OK Whoever you are worried about, Call 0800 456 450 for confidential, impartial advice. A CHRISTMAS MESSAGE FROM HFVIN 2020 has been a challenging year for many of us, and while most of us are looking forward to the fun of the festive season, it's important to look out for people who may be struggling. Specialist support is available (and usually necessary) to help people stop being abusive and to leam healthy and non-violent behaviour. People around them who they love, trust and respect can also help support their behaviour change and keep them accountable. we can all play a role in encouraging them to take the steps to do so. Find out about family violence and intimate partner abuse so that you can recognise and name the abusive Family violence increases in New Zealand over Christmas and holiday times. Behind any of the abuse is a person choosing to behave that way. While much family violence is hidden, often close friends or wider family have a gut feeling that something is wrong or even know about it. The abuse is usually part of a pattern of power and control and rarely a one-off incident even if that's all anyone on the outside actually sees. behaviour. Learn about the Danger Signs of abuse that can lead to serious harm or even death. Encourage them to phone the Family Violence Information Line on 0800 456 450 or to look up the family services directory for contacts for local services or courses such as anger management programmes. Don't victim-blame or excuse the abuse. The extra worres that can come with holiday time may contribute to violence but there's still no excuse for abuse. Look after yourself. There are many reasons why someone being abused may find it hard to stand up to their abuser, leave or not return to them. Remember that you are not responsible for changing someone. Do what you can to help but take care of yourself first and keep yourself safe. What if someone you care about is the one abusing their partner or family? The Family Violence Information Line 0800 456 450 is open every day of the year from 9am to 11pm. You might love them but you don't like how they act and that they are hurting others. Maybe it's subtle or it could be more obvious, like threats and physical ham. Perhaps it's the way they talk down to their partner, humiliate them in front of others, or Try to understand those reasons and don't judge the victim. If you think someone is in danger call Police on 111. Check in if you are concerned about someone. If someone hints at or says that they are being abused, listen to them. No one deserves it. For more information visit www.areyouok.org.nz stop them coming to family events. The abuse could even be hidden behind a façade of happy faces, but you suspect something's not right. While a person being abusive is responsible for deciding to change, Encourage them to seek support to change. IT IS FAMILY TO ASK VIOLENCE OK FOR HELP People who are being abusive may want to change but not know how to. IT'S NOT OK VIOLENCE FRE Help your family be safer these holidays Discuss ways to make family visits, travelling or parties safer. Make a plan to check-in with anyone you're concemed about. Name abusive behaviour that you don't like. Don't let booze or drugs be an excuse. Keep an eye on children and what's going on around them. Support someone to get space or time-out. Take care of yourself. FAMILY VIOLENCE areyouok.org.nz 0800 456 450 IT'S NOT OK Whoever you are worried about, Call 0800 456 450 for confidential, impartial advice.