MAKING THE CHANGE : NEW YEARS RESOLUTIONS So often when we talk about family violence, we assume that the only way for a victim to be safe is for them to leave. A better way for familes to be safe, is for the violence to stop. Change is possible for people who are using violence in ther family but ie takes time, determination, courage and support. Do you know someone who needs help to make the change? Maybe you are the one looking to make the change this year - to give your family a happier and safer 2020 For many people the most difficult part of change is accepting the need to change - you can help by never accepting or making excuses for abusive behaviour whether it is physical or emotional. Chailenge violence by always saying e's Not ok, and by not accepting excuses such as stress, or drink for abusive behaviour. Most people want to have happy and loving relationships with their partner and children based on respect and trust rather than fear and violence. Stopping Violence Courses offer the tools to help people who use violence to achieve this. You could offer support by finding out what programmes are available neor you, by encouraging your friend to attend, and by walking alongside them as they make their changes. Remember that the process of change and healing can be a slow one, and there is lots you can do to help along the way. Support and encourage your friend. Celebrate each success they have, however smalit may seem. Challenge behaviours, not the person. Use phrases like That action was not OK and avoid phrases ike You are bad. Ofer them a safe place to vent. Change can be slow and sometimes frustrating. You could offer a calm space and a lstening ear - be mindful not to encourage abusive atitudes in this space. Try not to just listen rather than agreeing or disagreeing with them. Recognise that victims need healing too. It may take a while for an abuser's partner and children to fully trust that a person's behaviour has changed. Encourage them that this is ok Some relationships will never fully heal, and that can be hard to accept, but it is ok to be proud of the violence free ife you have created, and this will lead to happier, healthier relationships in the future. STOP THE FIGHTINGI canunican wi IT IS TO ASK OKFOR you know someone warting to make the change to become violence free, support them by finding out about local support options. You can call the Family Violence Information Line on 0800 456 450 or contact us at lauren@htvin.co.nz or catch up with one of the campaign champions in person or on our facebook page. It is OK to ask for help. HELP |0800 456 450 |www.areyouok.org.nz Hauraki Family Violence Intervention Network (HFVIN) is a collective of around 100 individuals representing over 60 organisations from across the Thames-Coromandel and Hauraki Regions. We believe in supporting positive connections between people and strengthening healthy relationships and families. We do this by sharing key messages, holding conversations, sharing resources and by providing training. VIOLENCE FREE MAKING THE CHANGE : NEW YEARS RESOLUTIONS So often when we talk about family violence, we assume that the only way for a victim to be safe is for them to leave. A better way for familes to be safe, is for the violence to stop. Change is possible for people who are using violence in ther family but ie takes time, determination, courage and support. Do you know someone who needs help to make the change? Maybe you are the one looking to make the change this year - to give your family a happier and safer 2020 For many people the most difficult part of change is accepting the need to change - you can help by never accepting or making excuses for abusive behaviour whether it is physical or emotional. Chailenge violence by always saying e's Not ok, and by not accepting excuses such as stress, or drink for abusive behaviour. Most people want to have happy and loving relationships with their partner and children based on respect and trust rather than fear and violence. Stopping Violence Courses offer the tools to help people who use violence to achieve this. You could offer support by finding out what programmes are available neor you, by encouraging your friend to attend, and by walking alongside them as they make their changes. Remember that the process of change and healing can be a slow one, and there is lots you can do to help along the way. Support and encourage your friend. Celebrate each success they have, however smalit may seem. Challenge behaviours, not the person. Use phrases like That action was not OK and avoid phrases ike You are bad. Ofer them a safe place to vent. Change can be slow and sometimes frustrating. You could offer a calm space and a lstening ear - be mindful not to encourage abusive atitudes in this space. Try not to just listen rather than agreeing or disagreeing with them. Recognise that victims need healing too. It may take a while for an abuser's partner and children to fully trust that a person's behaviour has changed. Encourage them that this is ok Some relationships will never fully heal, and that can be hard to accept, but it is ok to be proud of the violence free ife you have created, and this will lead to happier, healthier relationships in the future. STOP THE FIGHTINGI canunican wi IT IS TO ASK OKFOR you know someone warting to make the change to become violence free, support them by finding out about local support options. You can call the Family Violence Information Line on 0800 456 450 or contact us at lauren@htvin.co.nz or catch up with one of the campaign champions in person or on our facebook page. It is OK to ask for help. HELP |0800 456 450 |www.areyouok.org.nz Hauraki Family Violence Intervention Network (HFVIN) is a collective of around 100 individuals representing over 60 organisations from across the Thames-Coromandel and Hauraki Regions. We believe in supporting positive connections between people and strengthening healthy relationships and families. We do this by sharing key messages, holding conversations, sharing resources and by providing training. VIOLENCE FREE